||TRAPDOOR|| a dark m/m love story by Vixen Phillips

 

Chasing Shadows butterfly

chapter IV. Pegasus
Page 1 of 15

Ninety-seven…

Ninety-eight…

Ninety-nine…

One hundred.

I sigh, and place the brush down on the dresser, turning away quickly to avoid my own reflection in the mirror.

Don’t look. Don’t think. Don’t be.

These words come to me again, for as many times tonight as strokes of my hair.

And finally, inevitably….

Don’t say his name.

Raven…

Dammit.

I get up and move over to the window, so numb I can’t even feel my feet touch the floor. Or is this just because I’ve had too much to drink? Hoping to make myself sick, sick like last time. But even my stomach refuses to help me tonight.

There’s a full moon in the sky, its solitary light casting reflections of me back onto the glass. Spreading shadows around the room: twin phantom images of myself sent to mock and taunt me. Fifteen minutes after midnight on a Monday morning, and the world outside my window is dead.

Don’t let it fool you, I tell myself bitterly. My universe is collapsing in on itself, just like that fateful day nine years ago, when—

No. I don’t want to remember that now. Make it go away. I can’t afford to think…

Raven, where are you?

Thirty-five minutes since Monty and Noriko came and got me, dragged me to my feet, forced me back to my cell.

Thirty-five minutes since they told me, “Raven’s gone, Pegasus.”

The only reason, “You know how things were between him and Wendy.”

Four days. That night, the night we touched, the night I tried to tell him—but failed. Miserably. Like I always do. Then I couldn’t even speak to him.

Bye Pegasus?

Those words still ring in my ear, terrorising me with their finality. You bastard, why didn’t you tell me you were really saying good-bye?

 

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When I find you again, I will lay you down on the soft sand by our ocean 
and cover your soul with my wings and kisses.

Kisses are feathers.

My wings are very strong.